tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16824250.post1056947170450006220..comments2023-05-10T02:59:33.596-05:00Comments on something deep and witty: Several ThingsAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02677742255848919123noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16824250.post-34938404893085217542006-11-06T08:04:00.000-06:002006-11-06T08:04:00.000-06:00So I should probably have left these comments on y...So I should probably have left these comments on your other blog, but I didn't think about it. It is, after all, 8 a.m. while I'm writing this.mary zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02138406919415142801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16824250.post-73185882096861152902006-11-06T08:03:00.000-06:002006-11-06T08:03:00.000-06:00I just went to your novel blog (what an original i...I just went to your novel blog (what an original idea! ...sorry, couldn't resist), and got caught up on your story, and the story of your story. A coupla things:<br /><br />-I love it!<br />-I particularly like your narratorial voice. <br />-There are little edits and things I would make, but that's as it always is. If you really want at some point, I'd love to blue-pencil it for you (except I don't have a blue pencil, so it'd probably be pen). Just an offer, not a suggestion.<br />-The county is, in fact, I-DILL-ICK. Absolutely gorgeous...I wanna go to Luxembourg.<br />-I love the gender-neutral egalitarianism you've got going on here. I was going to restrict that to "feminine empowerment" until I got to the hero. I think it's good to have a balanced view of these things...I'd personally get bored if all the male characters were downplayed and 'feminized.' (Sorry, too much grad school theory going on in my head now...it's a dangerous thing.)<br />-Dialogue is, in fact, a bitch. What has helped me is to really spend some time with my characters to see how they like to phrase things. Of course, half the time it still ends up sounding like me. Arg.<br />-I like how you bring up all these conflicts, and then resolve them quickly! Seriously, this adds good tension, and then even greater comedy, and without distracting from your main plot.<br />-Suggestion: give us some more time with the now-adult princess. We haven't seen why she's not a brat anymore, so I'm struggling with your assertion that she isn't. Why does she want to be married, especially if she can't marry a nobleman? Why does there have to be a king, in this egalitarian society? If you tell me, I'll accept your answer (you're the narrator, after all). But now I'm left wondering.<br /> <br />But to repeat my main point: I'm REALLY enjoying this story! I can't wait for chapter three!mary zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02138406919415142801noreply@blogger.com