April's Fool

I’ve been in a funk this past week. Not only are we (still) confined to two rooms of our house (well, three if you count the girls’ room, which I don’t), but it rained and was generally really funk-nasty weather all last week, so I spent most of the week in my bedroom. As a result, I was VERY stir-crazy, and wanted to be outside as much as possible this weekend. This afternoon I decided to paint my toenails outside while watching the kids play. (This multi-tasking dream was not well-thought-out.)

It started to go awry when, while I was bent over painting my toenails, Noah grabbed the fingernail polish remover and removed the cap. I saw this, and the undesirable possibilities, and reached for him. Then, all in slow motion and before I could stop him, he pulled away from me and dumped the bottle. Granted, there wasn’t much left, but it all ended up on the porch. Okay, no big deal, I thought, I’ll just get some more this week. I returned to painting my toenails and Noah returned to playing with a caterpillar (which he accidentally killed because he “broke it”.)

Toenail painting resumed for a moment or two, and when I looked up again to see what Noah was doing with the poor caterpillars, I saw that he was not playing with any caterpillars. No. He had removed the lid from a bottle of black, sparkly fingernail polish (I have no idea why I have black, sparkly fingernail polish). He was painting his fingers and his arm. Mind you, this all happened in about 30 or 45 seconds. I, of course, quickly confiscated the polish, but—Oh!—I couldn’t clean this mess up because I HAVE NO FINGERNAIL POLISH REMOVER. So I grabbed little cotton balls from my box of fingernail polish stuff (polish, files, clippers, etc.) and tried to clean up, when I realized that Noah had also dumped some polish on the porch and he was now standing in it. You know that feeling you get when you have to remind yourself that you love your children? It was not a shining mom moment for me, I’ll just tell you that.

(Just so you know, I did find a small fingernail polish removing pen thingy and got *SOME* of the polish off of Noah’s feet and hands. He’s still grey in many areas, though.)

During all this, the girls made up a new jump-rope song. Obviously, the only criterion for a jump-rope song is that it rhymes; logic has nothing to do with it. The song goes like this:
Tic-tac-toe, let me go,
How many pickles did he throw?
One, two, three, four…

Yeah. Luckily I was able to recognize the humor in that. I'm sure there's humor in the rest of it, too, but I'll look for it tomorrow.